I ran today. I've been sticking to my exercise goal very tightly for 3 weeks now and it's paying off. My clothes fit better and multiple friends have complimented my physical appearance.
But, when I run/walk/do a workout video, I feel miserable the whole time I'm doing it. I don't stop because I know that it will pay off and after I'm finished working out (4-5 times a week), I am drained. I mean, crawl-on-my-knees-collapsing-on-the-floor-DRAINED. I was not blessed with the "runner's high" I hear some people experience after pushing themselves to the limit...and for that, I'm a bit bitter. Wouldn't it be grand to work up a sweat and feel GREAT for doing it? Instead, I drag myself to the shower and pep-talk myself into blow-drying my hair (hey, styling hair is WORK, people!). I usually end up taking a 5-hr-energy (AKA Optimism in a bottle) and try to make it through my normal day.
In addition to this exhausting process, I am dealing with some serious health issues. If you don't know already, I'll tell ya...
I had gallbladder surgery about 3 months ago. It was for the best as I had over 30 stones in that inflamed organ. BUT since then, I have had digestive issues that were expected to subside as time went by...and they didn't. They have become so overwhelming and I'm at my whit's end. I can't sleep, eat normally, work well, concentrate, or worst of all, be happy. I have a 24/7/365 stomach bug with all the symptoms that may imply.
So, after trying many treatments and other life-changes (including my exercise routine), I have to have a procedure that I like to refer to "It Who Must Not Be Named" (hint: it rhymes w/ swollenoscopy) and I'm terrified. Not of the procedure (I know it's very safe and relatively pain-free) but of this road I seem to be barreling down.
Do you ever feel like, despite your efforts to live a life you imagine is right and normal, life pushes...no shoves you down another path full of events that cause you to stop in horror? I look at this life I am living and I think, "This HAS to be an out-of-body thing" b/c I would never, ever let myself be on 8 prescribed medications and having preventative health issues that most 78-yr-old women can identify with but most 29 (almost 20-10) year-olds have no clue about. I truly feel like if I were in better shape, eating healthier, and working a less-stressful job, I would not be dealing with these health issues.
Now the issue is, "How do I make a U-turn?" I'm pretty sure I've passed the point of not going to the Dr. b/c my health requires that I continue going to the Dr. and taking the medications prescribed...but a life-change will require MANY changes in habits, life-styles, and expectations on my part. I'm just not sure how to go about that other than slowly (as I am doing now). I'm making small goals in ALL areas of my life that I've been meeting and doing very well in. But I feel the pressure for more drastic measures.
Is this pressure good? Or am I setting myself up for failure by expecting too much change all at once?
I really do want to hear your thoughts. If you would like more information on my situation, just message me and I would love to talk.
I am not too proud to admit that I need encouragement too. If you think I AM on the right track w/ my life goals, please feel free to send me an "'atta girl" cuz I could use it!
Thanks!
4 comments:
Kris,
I think it's AMAZING that you are doing the little things...keep up the hard work and it will pay off!
I have to give you a congrats on all your hard work, your a strong person and will make it through what life throws your way. Girl look what you have made it through already.
I am not sure what to say medically but chris and I are going through some of the same challanges.
I love ya and please let me know if you ever need anything.
2692134509 is my # too
Jo
i don't get the runners high either, but i'm not really a runner. i was getting really drained after workouts when i first started working out again, but now i'm feeling a lot better. i guess my advice would be to give it time...but that's not what anyone wants to hear. maybe you could try something different. if you haven't tried yoga you really should....that will definitely give you a high! in my opinion it's the perfect workout!
as far as the stomach thing goes...geeeeze! i really hope they get that figured out for you. i used to feel sick all the time from hormones (bcp's and stuff)...any chance that could have something to do with it?
xoxo
i wish we lived closer so we could work out together! i miss you doll!!!!
Thanks ladies! I do just get overwhelmed by life in general. And it feels like although I'm making better choices, I still have such a long road ahead of me. Good health is this pie-in-the-sky dream that seems so unattainable at times.
Thanks for the encouragement, it helps so much!
xoxoxo Missy, Beej, and Megan!
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