In the year of our Lord, 2015

I know what you are about to say...
You are going to say, "give it time" or "take a deep breath, it will be ok eventually" but I honestly don't want to hear that.

I KNOW that in 20, 10, maybe even 5 years, my life will be going significantly better then it is right now. I will probably have a stable, decent paying job using the skills and knowledge I have acquired over the years. My house will not be falling down around me, nor will it be located in an area where neighbors doing drugs out number those with legitimate jobs. I imagine, I will be driving a vehicle w/o the "check engine" light on and one that doesn't cost more monthly as my house payment/rent. I'm not positive, but I hope that during that time in my life, I will be able to look back and remember this time of life and think, "I'm glad I held on. I'm glad I finished my degree and let God take me through those trials. I see why what happened, happened." I really hope that's what happens, because that hope is what I have left.



I was thinking tonight about my schooling. I had so much encouragement from family, friends, classmates, and professors. Those words of encouragement were what kept me going when many times I just wanted to "forget" to enroll for the next semester and let myself have a "break" from all that work. Those encouraging words led me to believe that w/ an education, with a degree, I would be better off. My family would be better off. My life would be different. Isn't that what we are ALL taught? Well that encouragement and hope has evaporated as quickly as graduation day came to a close. I feel like my bachelor's degree is my cab fare and last night's date said, "Thanks for the promissory notes, we had a great time but we don't really do the lingering overnight thing...wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am. Maybe we will see ya around again sometime? At the next Alumni Banquet? Don't forget your donation!"
The ONLY job offer I have received, I took. I work at a job that I like, with people I love and I make $8.50/hr. Every day that I work, I lose at least $5. I am paying somebody $5 to work. I'm not joking.

Each day is getting more difficult and I find myself questioning my sanity. Why in the world did I drag my babies to that library and force them to be silent until it closed at midnight so I could go to group meetings while Josh worked nights in order to pay the bills? Why did I enroll and begin classes again just weeks after losing my son? Why did I schedule an emergency surgery for a later date in order to miss only one day of class? So I could pay $5/day and have someone else take care of my children?

Today, May 29th, 2010, I don't care one bit that my life will be better on May 29th, 2015. I do care that on this night, I can't sleep (for the second night in a row) because I am stuck in this house that is quite literally falling in around me, only to escape on the weekdays via my van w/ it's screaming engine light to a job where I smile and pretend that I'm so happy and thankful for each and every one of those 8.5 dollars/hour.
Is this what I worked for? In short, the answer is, "no"... but that fixes absolutely nothing right now.

I am not a woe-is-me kinda person...at least I don't like to think I am. So I will sign off of this note, head to my careerbuilder.com and craigslist.org and apply for some more jobs. After all, 2015 will come soon...

finishing what I began

Since I got distracted with life, I never finished my water bottle blog! I shall fix that now!
I tried 2 Starbuck drink containers and I love them both. The first is an insulated travel coffee mug that I use for water only. The other is made specifically for water. I like them both and I'll list their pros and cons below. :-)

Heart Mug Pros:
Insulated
Spillproof
Cute
Fits in cupholders

Heart Mug Cons:
NOT dishwasher safe
NOT microwave safe
keeps the taste/smell of the drink used last
mild "plastic" taste

Water Bottle Pros:
Super cute!
little to no "plastic" taste
fits cupholders
easy to carry

Water Bottle Cons:
Sweats
NOT spillproof (drips from lid when tipped over)
Tall and top-heavy
NOT dishwasher or microwave safe

I've come to the conclusion that there are NO perfect re-usable water containers. I still want a glass one with a cute protective cover, but I'm not willing to pay a ton for one that I can't see and feel before I buy it...so I'm still waiting to find one in a store so I can do just that.

PLEASE let me know if you see/find a glass container in a store! I really really really want one! :-)

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H2Uh-Oh

Had I but known...
My newest obsession...being green. But not going all crazy-like by hugging trees and splashing red paint on fur coats...well not yet, at least. I just want to make those "little" changes that the greenies tell us to do. Those small alterations to our daily life that can make a great impact to our earth. I figure, God tells me to be a good steward of what He has given me, right?

So I started recycling again (green idea #1). It's not so easy for me to do. I know all of you are gasping in horror at the fact that I'm so behind the times...well SHUT IT! I hardly have time to brush my teeth in the morning and now I'm expected to rinse, de-label and sort my trash into bags that I have to tie up, drag to the van, and transport to a recycling center?!? (PS I still don't know where to take them, and my van's back seat is quickly filling up!)

Green idea #2: shop thrifty. I have been going to all the thrift/antique/consignment stores FIRST when I need "new" items for my family and home. Once again, time is my enemy. It takes so much patience to sort through shelves of dusty knicknacks in order to find that serving dish. It's so tiring to slide hundreds of moth-eaten sweaters on a rack just to find that one perfect cardigan with only a single missing button. But I'm doing it. So YAY for me.

Green idea #3: EDUCATE myself. I'm so stinkin' clueless about the ins and outs of living green. There are so many easy things I can do but they aren't on a list. I need a list, a how-to, a "become a tree-hugger-wannabe for dummies". So I started today by obsessing over cool green websites and I'm stuck on one about having healthier kids by reducing exposure to harmful chemicals in your own home! Who knew? Jamie has asthma and I thought I was doing all I could to help him and here I'm missing out on some seemingly obvious and simple things to do just b/c I was uninformed. So I clicked on every link on healthychild.org in hopes of changing that...which leads me to my brilliant green idea #3:
Blog about it. This is my journey. And as any good journey, there will be ups and downs...so why not chronicle it? I'm a skeptic. I don't believe I can be green and keep true to my budget, family living style, and personal expectations.
Along the way, I'll ask for your help and tips. I expect you'll laugh at me along the way too...just make sure you share you joy at my expense. I asked for it! :0)

Question #1 for YOU: What's your position on bottled water? I can't STAND the taste of water from reusable plastic or aluminum bottles...so what's an avid water-drinker supposed to do? Here's a link for an article that talks about the dangers of bottled water. What do you think?

The land of Funtiques

It was a horrible and gloomy Tuesday in the land of My Life. Princess Kristina had woke up sleepier then when she laid her head down last night. Her professors had no pity on her.

To make matters worse, her prince was in a land far, far away name T-Mobilot slaying the dragon called Customeragon who always seemed angry about terrible things the he did to himself. Customeragon liked to blame all his misfortune on the good people of T-Mobilot and Prince Charming was busy defending his kingdom.

Princess Kristina had received news of a new land called Funtiques in the kingdom of Springfield. This new land promised hope of fun fabrics and vintage pieces that would surely put a smile back on the Princesses' sad face. So she traveled to the land of Funtiques and spent many minutes traveling up and down it's alleys. She found various things that made her smile and decided to make a deal with the Queen of Funtiques in order to bring some treasures back to her homeland. She wasn't sure if her Prince Charming would care a lick about her treasures, but nonetheless she decided to share her fortune with the good people of the Internet.

Enjoy this picture of her treasures, oh people of the Internet. "Oooh" and "Aaah" as much as you please...and if you don't get your fill, head on over to Funtiques Market on Commecial near National ave. in Springfield to find your own adventure and bring home many treasures to share with your own kingdom.

OH, and remember that we all live happily ever after.
The End.

Holy crazy 6-year-olds Batman!!

Is it just me, or do children morph into evil creatures when they are cramped in a room with 100 more of their kind?
Last night was Allana's Kindergarten music program in the tiny gym at Boyd Elementary School. Holy crazy 6-yr-olds Batman! Josh, the kids, and I stood flushed to the back brick wall praying for survival as children blurred by screaming, crying, laughing, screaming, singing, fighting, screaming and screaming!!
Are you an elementary school teacher? GOD BLESS YOU! I'm still recovering from 1hr of that mess. Thank you Jesus for your guidance! I was an education major at one point...my Lord knew I only had enough patience to endure that scene when my children needed me to. Whew!
Anyway, it was cute 10-minute production and I'll include the vids on here. Feel free to watch them and remember to THANK the teachers in your world! They are a God-send!

My life in Song Titles

I just had this idea when traveling home from Michigan...there are so many songs that we relate to. As human beings, we trek the trials and triumphs of life together and we encounter moments when we "get" each other. These songs represent some of my "ah-hah" moments when I felt as though the writer/composer/performer made this song just for me.

This may be one of those Blogs that I add to in the future...but here is what I have so far.

High School:
I'm just a girl -No Doubt
Wannabe -SpiceGirls
Strawberry Wine -Deana Carter
JockJams -ESPN
End of the Road -Boyz II Men

1998-2000
You Oughta Know -Alanis Morissette
Believe -Cher
Jesus Take the Wheel -Carrie Underwood
Runaway Train -Soul Asylum
All I Wanna Do -Sheryl Crow
If You Could See What I See -Geoff Moore and the Distance
Losing My Religion -R.E.M.


2001-2003
Holes in the Floor of Heaven -Steve Wariner
Arms Wide Open -Creed
Feed Jake -Pirates of the Mississippi

2004-Present
Isn't She Lovely -Stevie Wonder
Someone Else's Star -Bryan White
Angel -Sarah Mclachlan
What Might Have Been -Little Texas
Still The One -Faith Hill