Tuesday, July 6, 2010

My little cheerleader

Allana is well aware that how we humans live our lives directly affects our physical body. She watches a trim, healthy, young women jogging on TV and immediately calls out, "Mom, when can we go jawggin'?" To which I usually reply, "Soon, honey. But not now."
This scene repeated itself, almost verbatim, for weeks before I decided to begin my exercise routine about 3 weeks ago. Sometimes Allana goes around the block with me so she can "jawg" too...but most of the time it's just me and my headphones. I return to the house, hot and sweaty, and Allana always asks, "How was your run, Mommy? Do you feel good?" To which, I happily reply, "yes!"
Monday, I prepared to run and Allana begged to go with me. I told her, instead of running, she could be my little helper and hold my water bottle on the porch...and when I run by, she could hand it to me. I also added an "out" for her...if I took too long, she could just leave the bottle by the road and I would find it there.
As I ran, I took the longer route around the neighborhood so I could push myself a little further. I approached the house and immediately saw that Allana was no longer waiting on the porch. I'm not proud of this, but I thought, "crap. She went inside and now I'm going to have to stop my workout and find my water bottle..."
One picture stopped me in my new Nike's tracks. My water bottle was waiting for me, sweating beads of perspiration in the hot, humid July air. It was right where I usually keep it, safely placed at the edge of our driveway. In the blue screw-top lid, I found 2 purple wildflowers weaved into the latch.
My little cheerleader believes in me...and I love her for not only helping her mommy get off the couch and into her skinny jeans but doing it with all that's within her. She is encouraging beyond her 6 years and I'm amazed by her devotion and love of all beautiful things.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

'atta girl

I ran today. I've been sticking to my exercise goal very tightly for 3 weeks now and it's paying off. My clothes fit better and multiple friends have complimented my physical appearance.
But, when I run/walk/do a workout video, I feel miserable the whole time I'm doing it. I don't stop because I know that it will pay off and after I'm finished working out (4-5 times a week), I am drained. I mean, crawl-on-my-knees-collapsing-on-the-floor-DRAINED. I was not blessed with the "runner's high" I hear some people experience after pushing themselves to the limit...and for that, I'm a bit bitter. Wouldn't it be grand to work up a sweat and feel GREAT for doing it? Instead, I drag myself to the shower and pep-talk myself into blow-drying my hair (hey, styling hair is WORK, people!). I usually end up taking a 5-hr-energy (AKA Optimism in a bottle) and try to make it through my normal day.
In addition to this exhausting process, I am dealing with some serious health issues. If you don't know already, I'll tell ya...
I had gallbladder surgery about 3 months ago. It was for the best as I had over 30 stones in that inflamed organ. BUT since then, I have had digestive issues that were expected to subside as time went by...and they didn't. They have become so overwhelming and I'm at my whit's end. I can't sleep, eat normally, work well, concentrate, or worst of all, be happy. I have a 24/7/365 stomach bug with all the symptoms that may imply.
So, after trying many treatments and other life-changes (including my exercise routine), I have to have a procedure that I like to refer to "It Who Must Not Be Named" (hint: it rhymes w/ swollenoscopy) and I'm terrified. Not of the procedure (I know it's very safe and relatively pain-free) but of this road I seem to be barreling down.
Do you ever feel like, despite your efforts to live a life you imagine is right and normal, life pushes...no shoves you down another path full of events that cause you to stop in horror? I look at this life I am living and I think, "This HAS to be an out-of-body thing" b/c I would never, ever let myself be on 8 prescribed medications and having preventative health issues that most 78-yr-old women can identify with but most 29 (almost 20-10) year-olds have no clue about. I truly feel like if I were in better shape, eating healthier, and working a less-stressful job, I would not be dealing with these health issues.
Now the issue is, "How do I make a U-turn?" I'm pretty sure I've passed the point of not going to the Dr. b/c my health requires that I continue going to the Dr. and taking the medications prescribed...but a life-change will require MANY changes in habits, life-styles, and expectations on my part. I'm just not sure how to go about that other than slowly (as I am doing now). I'm making small goals in ALL areas of my life that I've been meeting and doing very well in. But I feel the pressure for more drastic measures.
Is this pressure good? Or am I setting myself up for failure by expecting too much change all at once?
I really do want to hear your thoughts. If you would like more information on my situation, just message me and I would love to talk.
I am not too proud to admit that I need encouragement too. If you think I AM on the right track w/ my life goals, please feel free to send me an "'atta girl" cuz I could use it!